I am a rock. I fully realize that the sentiment of most people toward rocks is not exactly one of envy. However, this crystalline, senseless, and relatively inert form of existence does have its compensations, although, I must admit, offhand I am unable to think of any. Thinking, by the way, is not one of our trump cards either.
OK. Lemme think. OK. I got one: longevity. We rocks get to hang around a long time, at least compared to humans. Sometimes we rocks get to hang around for millions, even billions, of years. It all depends. Sometimes a rock can get split, or smelted, or smashed into smithereens (Sorry, some of us rocks can get overly alliterative). Sometimes we’re even made into cement!Let me tell you, it’s a rough world out there. But very often, if no one bothers you, a rock can get to hang around quite a long while.
In the end, though, there’s no escaping it. All of us rocks, along with everything and everybody else, eventually get melted down again: submerged deep underground, sucked back down. Down we go into the fiery bowels of the earth for meltdown and re-processing – a pleasure which I myself, I am happy to say, have thus far been able to avoid. Just lucky I guess. But in the end we all get melted down, all of us, liquified and mixed up down there in the magma.
And then, what do you know? Sometimes we get hurled back out into the waters again (and I’ve heard some of those volcanoes are pretty fun). But sometimes we are cast even further down into the subterranean depths, the cauldrons as we call them. The humans have a word for our cauldrons: they call it hell. Pretty funny word. Overall, it’s a bit comical to us rocks: all that stuff about heaven and hell.
So, I suppose that when you consider the meltdowns and the cauldrons, there’s a price tag on “longevity” too. All the same, when you’re a rock you don’t worry or think about these things too much. Rocks enjoy very low anxiety levels. Another compensation.
In the meantime, take it easy. And don’t throw any rocks at anybody.