Earlier this year, in a sort of New Year’s Resolution, I formally swore off all contact – social, spiritual, or otherwise – with anyone who was a cement animal structure. After nearly a year of dependence, indeed an addiction to cement elephants (see Cement Animal Sculpture Compendium), I finally realized that I would never obtain any sort of wisdom or spiritual guidance from beings or entities that were made of cement.
It was embarrassing. After all, here I was a fully-grown (OK, I was old) and well-educated (OK, I watch public television sometimes) man, and there I was cavorting and consulting with cement elephants for spiritual guidance. It was a pitiful waste of time to seek inspiration from these lifeless, inert, brainless, and soul-less pachyderms. “Enough!” I said at last. I needed to find my inspiration elsewhere, to obtain my wisdom from more reliable sources. It was time for me to turn to one of the great religious doctrines: Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Taoism…..
However, what I did was to consult a paper-mache giraffe on La Brea Blvd.. “Oh, great and long-necked, and so dandily painted giraffe, what can you tell me about the meaning of life?”
OK. Perhaps I expected too much . After all the poor giraffe was made from paper mache. But my thirst for spiritual knowledge spurred me on. I pursued my quest to the highest court, as it were. I consulted the king of the beasts, the noble and sagagious lion.
“Oh, great lion. Oh great one! Can you tell me the meaning of life.? Can you provide me with inspiration to go on living and blogging too?
Sounded fishy, but I paid the 5 dollars. The wise and great lion responded:
That’s it? That’s the great piece of wisdom?
Devastated and woefully disappointed by this impudent oracle, I marched on. My quest for knowledge took me over three continents and several incontinents. Finally after years of travail, I realized that I had come full circle. Yes! I returned to the cement elephants. “Oh, great, wise cement elephant! Oh Franklin! Oh great one, I have returned to you to obtain spiritual wisdom. Tell me, oh magnificent pachydermal pillar, what great piece of knowledge can you bestow upon me to help me on my way?”
“That’s it? That’s all? I can’t believe that the highest piece of wisdom that you can impart is…..