images-1Dear Dr. Zumba,

My girlfriend’s mother says that I’m crazy. She says that this blogging is a sickly compulsion. I kid you not! Those were her exact words: sickly compulsion. Well, Dr. Bumba, tell me. Do you think that’s right? She also said it’s an abscess-compulsatory, an OCD or OBS or maybe something else – to be writing in to any of these advice columns. Especially this Bumbastories Funny Pages one. After all, how can any sane individual expect anything intelligent from a blogger by the name of Bumba who consults and (by his own admission) actually “consorts” with cement elephant sculptures?

Tell me, Dr. Zumba: Am I crazy? Or is this whole advice for the lovelorn column an imaginary symptom of my OTB?

Signed,

Hubert

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Dear Hubert,

Well, which question do you want me to answer first?

Dr. Bumba
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More Bumbastories Advice to the Lovelorn Column

featuring Dr. Sigmund O. Bumba, world-renowned psychiatrist and winner of seven Lumosity Lifetime Achievement Certificates.

Dear Dr. Bumba,

My girlfriend’s mother, who always gives me a hard time, told me that I am crazy. You see, it’s because I voted for Donald Trump. My girlfriend’s mother said that Donald Trump is an effing disgrace to the nation. Now, I don’t want to defend my girlfriend’s mother, but she made me think about all the politics stuff slowly and rationally. You see, when I voted I didn’t think about it very much about anything. I used to think that thinking wasn’t important. But now I’m weighing the evidence, considering the pros and cons. And there’s no escaping the conclusion that Trump is a con man. and a stupid one at that. What bugs me more than anything else is that he’s making us pay millions of dollars for all kinds of extra security for his family’s travel expenses and mansions. And he’s hired his daughter and son-in-law as top advisors! I don’t like that. My girlfriend’s mother said that it’s because he’s a pig. And now it looks like he owes all kind of money to some Russian mobsters. Yikes, Dr. Bumba! Anyhow, the thing is I voted for him, and now I feel stupid.

Tell me, am I crazy, or did Donald Trump pull the wool over my eyes?

Hubert

Dear Hubie,

Which question do you want me to answer first?
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